


Missing

by sherlockwhomentalist



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25982272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockwhomentalist/pseuds/sherlockwhomentalist
Summary: Pepper Potts died in the fall. Tony only has his super family, and Happy. Heart never seems to beat like it's supposed too, even without the shards in his chest. At least plastic surgury covered the galing hole that remained.Steve bas become more at ease with the time he's stuck in. The people are hard to get close too, but he's working on it. His life seems to get better, while Tony's only gets worse.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kudos: 11





	1. Hydra

"This is the last time I'm doing you a favor."

Tony dodged the blue beams that flew at him. He shot at a new soldier that ran at him.

"Everybody else was busy," Steve explained, ducking away from a right hook. "Besides, you needed to get out the lab."

Tony stayed silent, exploring the building and taking out the soldiers that came at him. He found a control room and began to go though, downloading the files.

"These guys are pretty well armed," Tony said after weapon blueprints popped up. Quite advanced, and they didn't have Tony helping out.

"Yeah, I can tell!" Steve shouted. Tony heard a loud bang over the coms.

"Cap?" Nothing. "Captian!"

Tony turned to rush outside, but he felt a force hit him from behind. His suit was downloading the files. Shit. Another bang and Tony's world went black.

Tony woke, blinded by the too-bright lights shining directly into his eyes. He heard a struggle to his left. Tony turned his head tolook, but flinched at a sharp pain.

"Stark! You're finally awake!" Steve was relieved. 

"Are you alright?" Tony asked. 

"Yeah." Steve's wound was healing quickly. "What about you?"

"Fine." There was a dull ache into he back of his head. Tony felt the shackles around his wrists and ankles for the first time. They were sitting against a wall, and chains connected to each other and to the wall.

Tony tugged and the shackles. They weren't iron, like typical bondage; too light. 

"Is this vibranium?" He muttered to himself. Definitely vibranium. How did these guys get vibranium?

The door swung open, revealing a man clad in a black uniform, a red hydra symbol sown onto the sleeve.

"Well, well, well." The hydra agent said. "What have we here? Two Avengers throwing themselves at my doorstep. Whatever will we do?"

"Let us go?" Tony retorted, keeping his composure.

He gave a lopsided grin. "No. How about I leave you here and let you two slowly shrivel. I wanna see you caves first." And with a flick of his hand everyone retreated.

Tony's heart started to race and his face began to burn. He struggled to breathe as he clutched his chest. 

"No, no, not now," he thought frantically. "Any time but now."

"Tony! Tony calm down." Steve shuffled closer. He laid a hand on Tony's shoulder which Tony promptly swatted away.

"Just breathe. We'll get out of here, I promise."

Tony forced himself to take deeper breaths, and allowed his heart to settle. He hid his face in his hand, shielding himself from shame and guilt. He felt something slide gently his free hand. Tony turned to look.

Steve was rubbing Tony's hand to soothe him. He pulled the other hand off Tony's face and cradled.

"Clint and Nat are getting back any day now. They'll notice we're still gone and track your suit," Steve reassured him.

Tony became more aware of how close they were. Steve seemed to notice, too. They could feel each other's breath, and their noses almost brushed.

Steve looked down, and quickly pulling away and settling against the wall. Tony felt a twinge of disappointment, but quickly pushed it down.


	2. Days Pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve are trapped in the enemy camp, no escape in sight. They only have each other for who knows how long, slowly starving.

DAY ONE

They argued. If course they argued, they were Stark and Roger's. Still, it was a small squabble.

"If they do give us food, you need to take it," Steve had said.

"No. You should take it. I've gone with no food for longer than you have," Tony said.

"Bullshit," Steve scoffed. "You need food more than I do. Supersoildier, remember?"

"Super soldier my ass," Tony retorted. "You dont think I can go a few days without food?" Tony was tired and cranky. He hadn't slept in days, and the cold of the white room was getting to him. And the floors were incredibly uncomfertable. 

"Don't be an idiot, Stark," Steve said.

Tony clenched his fist. Steve was right. He did need food more than Steve, and that sucked. 

DAY TWO

The door was opened and a plastic water bottle was thrown into the room.

Tony was startled out of his daze. He hadn't slept in what, 5 days? He was delirious.

Steve was used to sleeping in harsh conditions from his time with the Howling Commandos, though it was still difficult to get sleep in.

Tony caught the skidding bottle. He looked to Steve, who let him take the first sip. Tony was careful to leave enough for Steve, and Steve left enough to last them for the next day.

Steve sat the bottle to the side. 

"Tony, you need to get some sleep."

"I know, shut up." Tony let out an exasperated breath.

"I didn't say anything!" exclaimed Steve.

Tony rubbed thr bridge of his nose. He had the worst headache and his eyes longed for sleep.

"You can't keep it from him forever." The voice was achingly familiar. "Sooner or later, he'll figure out how bad it is."

Soft, blue eyes and warm, pink lips filled his head. Orange-red hair and a sharp tongue. Oh, Pepper.

"You should have caught her, Tony."

And now she's dead.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and pulled his legs to his chest.

"It's not loaded, is it, JARVIS?"

The barrel of a gun was pressed against his lips. Tears streaming down his cheeks.

"No, sir."

"Thought not."

DAY THREE

Tony had finally been able to sleep. Though nightmares filled it, it was the best he could get.

Steve took a mental note of Tony's lack of, and restless, sleep. He didn't know what to do except comfort him when he needed it.

They were both tired and their butts ached. The chains on their arms were too short to let them stand, also restricted them from lying too comfortably when they wanted to sleep.

They took little sips of the water.

"How you feeling?" Steve asked.

"Fine." Tony scratched the growing fuzz on his jaw. "You?"

"Good." He was starving, of course, but he didn't mind as long as Tony made it out alive.

The chill was starting to get to him. He rubbed his arms, and Steve could see goosebumps running up Tony's. 

"You're cold." Steve stated.

"Great observational skills, Cap," Tony snapped. He sighed, pulling in his legs. "Yeah, I'm cold."

"Come here."

"What?"

"Share warmth." Steve shuffled closer, stretching his arm out as an invitation for Tony to do the same.

Tony felt heat rise to his cheeks and his heart fluttered. He scratched his neck nervously, his chains clincking as he moved. Steve waited patiently, smirking slightly.

Tony slid against Steve's side. He was much softer than Tony expected. Steve wrapped his arm around Tony's torso, pulling him closer.

They both got comfortable, the new warmth making then sleepy. Tony's head slowly fell onto Steve's chest, and he fell asleep. He soon snored as he had the first good sleep in days.

DAY FOUR

They got tired of waiting for Clint and Natasha, but there was nothing they could do. They drank their last drops of water, pangs of hunger stabbing then in the gut.

Steve lightly ran his fingers along Tony's oily hair. Tony curled up against Steve as he began to find comfort in his warmth.

"You know, I wouldn't be here if you had let me stay at home," Tony joked.

Steve let out a soft chuckle. "It's not the worst we've been through."

No. No it's not. Tony balled up his fists, forcing out the down the memory.

Steve sensed Tony's change in mood, and guessed what it was. "Sorry," he mumbled. Steve gently stroked Tony's cheek. "Hey. We'll get out of this, I promise."

DAY FIVE 

Another bottle of water was chucked into the cell.

Steve let Tony drink first, his tiny frame causing him to worry. The water felt good on Tony's parched tongue. 

They passed the water, continuing to only take small sips. Tony did some stretches, desperate to keep up his strength. 

There was a thud as Tony was yanked back to the ground. Tony let out a growl of frustration as he began to tug at the shackles, clawing his skin in the prosses. 

"Tony. Tony, stop!" Stev grabbed Tony's arm, pulling Tony close.

"Let go of me!" He tried to struggle away. "We need to get out of here!"

"Tony, please!" Steve pulled Tony's arms behind him. Tony tried desperately to get away, but Steve was able to wrap his legs around him.

"Stop, Tony. You're hurting yourself. Please." 

Slowly, Tony stopped struggling. The room was silent except for their breathing. Stev released Tony's arms, and loosened his grip around his torso. He laid his forehead on the crook of Tony's shoulder, listening as Tony evened his breathing.

Steve then untangled himself from Tony, setting his back on the wall. Tony's head slumped forward in shame. Tears pressed his eyes, but he forced them back.

"Hey, lemme see." 

Tony shifted his back against the wall. Steve took his arm, examining his wrists. There were a few scratches that had blood swelling at the edges.

"You fucking idiot," Steve murmered.

DAY SIX

There was a commotion outside. People shouting and the odd sound of the Hydra guns.

Stev gave a hopeful look at Tony, who was wobbling to his feet.There were sounds of struggle outside before the door swung open.

"Stev? Tony?"

"Nat!" Steve cried.

"Finally," Tony said.

"Clint! In here!" Natasha shouted, rushing to their side.

"You're so skinny," she noted with a look at Tony. "Whh did you not break out?"

"Vibranium," Steve said simply.

"Would've destroyed my suit before it got here," Stark added.

Clint ran into the room, bow in hand. He took one look at Tony and became furious. 

Tony must've lost 10 pounds, and the starvation had made his bones jut out of his skin. He looked as if his life were hanging by a threaded.

"We need the keys."

Clint nodded and dashed out of the room, returning a few moments later with the keys.

"Let's get you out of here."

Nat started to help Steve, but he forced her to help Tony first. She got the chains off them, supporting Tony with one of his arms across her shoulders and holding him up with another hand under his armpit.

Tony summoned his suit to him. Stve was close behind them, Clint shooting the soldiers who got close. Steve noticed how Tony was acting different, more confident, more like his normal self.

Clint passed him his shield, a smirk on his face. "Thought you'd want this back." Steve gave a smug grin, and moved to the front of the group.

They got out in no time. Tony's suit finally got to them when they got outside. As they flew off, there was a massive flash of light and an explosion, wiping out the base that had them captive for a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know Clint wasn't going to leave that place standing after he saw Tony in such a state! I made him a bit more of the quiet type, but he'll still have his humor, dont worry.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. One Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve returned home safe. Thought the fight might not be over yet.

Natasha was in charge of feeding Tony, as she has had to go a while without food during missions. She set him on a strict diet of bananas and dates for the first few days. Then Nat slowly let him eat more and more calories.

Steve and Clint were in charge of looking after him. The first week someone was always at his side, helping him eat or walk. Tony looked like a pile of bones, his muscles deteriorated, yet his stomach slightly bloated.

Dr. Cho oversaw the group, giving the okay when Tony was finally able to take care of himself. 

Steve always checked up on him. Tony had come to find his visits to the garage comforting, eager to have somebody to talk to about his latest design. Bruce was no longer around, so Tony struggled to find anyone who understood him. Steve was useful when Tony needed something held up or a screw needed tightened.

One night, Steve had a rough time sleeping and decided to take it out on a punching bag. He was taking a break, munching on a pizza, when Friday’s voice come over the speakers.

“Captain Rogers!” She sounded concerned.

“Yeah, Friday?”

“I'm afraid Mr. Stark is quite drunk and needs some assistance,” she explained. “You were the only one awake.”

Steve sighed, setting down his pizza. “Alright, thanks Friday.”

He set off down the corridors down to Tony’s room, readying himself for whatever was to come. He knocked on the door before letting himself in.

“Tony?” Steve called out.

“Well if it isn’t Cap’n ‘Merica!”

Tony was spinning around in a little office chair, one of a set that surrounded a high-tech, oval table that sat in the middle of his very large room. Steve scanned the room, seeing two empty bottles on the table, another knocked over on the couch, and a fourth in Tony’s hand.

Tony chugged down the rest of the beer and scooted his chair to the kitchen to grab another. 

“No, no.” Steve grabbed the back of the chair and spun him around. “C’mon. Time for bed.”

“Aww. Party pooper. Tell ‘em, Friday!” 

Tony was dragged to his feet, unwilling to go, but didn’t have the strength to resist.

“Your current alcohol intake is ill-advised,” Friday responded.

Tony blew a raspberry at Friday as Steve half-carried half-dragged him to the bathroom. He sat Tony down on the toilet seat and went to fetch some clothes.

Steve rummaged through the drawers, finding a pair of boxers, a pair of soft, unicorn-patterned pants, and a taco-saurus t-shirt. He returned to the bathroom to find Tony hunched over the toilet, spilling his guts out into the bowl.

Steve put aside the clothes and sat down beside Tony, rubbing his back as another wave of sickness came upon him.

“How about I get you some water?” Steve gently suggested. Tony gave a thumbs up as he threw up again.

“Fucking idiot.”

Steve tidied up, throwing away the few bottles on the desk. As he went to pick up the bottle on the sofa, a small, black object lodged between the cushions caught his eye. He reached down and fitted his hands around the- what? It couldn’t be. Why? A gun. Why would Tony Stark have a gun?

“Hey, Friday? Why does Tony have a gun?” Steve sniffed the barrel.

“A gun, sir?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed a finger around the lip. Nothing.

“Protection.”

He took out the clip. Empty. Tony Stark has an empty, never fired before gun tucked between his couch cushions without any ammunition in sight, for protection? Even then, Friday usually gave some sort of explanation for everything.

“Finding that hard to believe.”

“I’m under strict orders not to tell anyone, especially you, as to what that gun is required for.”

“What.” Steve’s mind was turning. What was this gun for? Clearly not protection, he has millions of suits. Why would he need it for peace of mind, he is surrounded by literal superheroes. 

He chased every rabbit hole in his head and came up empty except a few wild theories. 

Steve was snapped out of his daze by the loud noise of the bath water running. Steve sat the gun on the table and threw away the last bottle before grabbing Tony a glass of cold water.

He returned to the bathroom to find Tony leaning against the tub, looking near dead. 

“Tony?” Steve shook Tony’s shoulder.

Tony gave a little whine and swatted a hand at Steve. Steve let out a chuckle and went to fetch a rag. He ran the rag under the tap and bent down in front of Tony.

“Hey, moron. I’m going to clean your face, so don’t attack me, mkay?” Steve took the rag and tapped the edges of Tony’s lips. 

Tony squinted his eyes open to see the looming shape of Steve with a small smile dancing on his lips. He looked at ease, which made Tony relax the last bit of tense muscles he had. 

Steve wiped the last bit of slime off Tony’s face and pressed the glass of water to Tony’s lips. Once the last drops were drunk, Steve helped Tony to his feet.

Tony started smirking as Steve’s eyes went from the bath to Tony and back and forth. 

“Do you, ugh, want me to...”

Tony has never seen the soldier blush harder than Steve was right now. 

“I think I got it.” Tony sat himself on the tub lip and began to take off his socks as if to prove a point.

It wasn’t as if Steve hadn’t seen a man naked before. He had to help his drunk army buddies all the time back in the day. But something about Tony made him stutter and flush as if he were a little kid with a crush. He had no idea why, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not.

Steve escaped the bathroom, and immediately his eyes locked onto the gun on the table. This mystery would need solving first. 

“Friday. Tell me why Tony has a gun.” Steve made sure to use his army voice as if he would intimidate the AI.

“Sir, I’m not allowed to say.”

“Friday! If you won’t tell me I’ll figure it out myself!” Steve said, as if it were a threat.

There was a pause before Friday responded.

“There was a... rough patch after Ms. Potts death.”

“And?”

“That is all I’ll say.”

Steve let out a huff. At least Friday gave him a a date.

Everybody was heartbroken after Rhodes announced Pepper’s death. He wouldn’t give specifics, and they didn’t ask. Tony didn’t leave the garage for about a month, Rhodes being the only one allowed in or out, with Steve only allowed in on “good” days. Steve knew how long the grieving process was, he’s been through it himself. So he knew around what time...

Oh shit.

No, it couldn’t be. Tony wouldn’t, couldn’t. 

Steve rushes to the table and pulled up different feeds for Tony’s living room. He turned them off all the time, everybody turned theirs off, but hopefully Tony forgot this one time. Just this once.

There.

Five months ago.

Tony was hunched over on the couch. Gun in hand. Barrel in his mouth, and hands shaking furiously.

Steve immediately shut it off.

Not Tony. Why didn’t he tell them? Ask for help? He could have helped. Steve would’ve helped.

There was a splash as Tony settles into the tub.

“Stevey.” Tony called.

Swallowing, Steve went to bathroom, slowly opening the door. Tony was lounged in the bath, his head rolled back.

“I’ve found that I’m too drunk to touch my toes.” Tony gave a little smile.

Blinking, Steve went over to begin washing Tony’s hair. He sat crisscrossed at Tony’s head.

Steve wetted his hair before applying the shampoo. He started to relax as he ran his fingers through Tony’s hair. He hummed a little tune as he rinsed out Tony’s hair.

“Hey, Friday,” Tony started.

“Yes, sir?”

“Could you play something romantic for us?” he giggled.

“I’m one of the most intelligent AIs you’ve ever created, not your Alexa,” Friday retorted.

“How about some 80s?” Steve recommended.

Friday said, annoyed, “Yes, Mr. Rogers.”

“You can wash your legs.”

“But it’s much better when you do it, Cap.”

Oh my god, Steve thought.

Tony let out a sigh as a familiar song began to play. He couldn’t remember the name, but it made him nostalgic.

“My father always talked about you, ya know.” Tony played with the little bubbles. “You were my bedtime stories.”

“Is that so?” Steve squirted some soap onto a loofah.

“Mhmm. You were my hero since I was a kid.”

“Oh, really?” Steve washed Tony’s arms.

“You’ve always been my hero.”

“Hmm.” Steve wasn’t really listening. Tony was drunk; he didn’t know what he was saying.

“Still are.” Tony looked up at him. “Though it was kind of annoying, though, having to live up to the great Steve Rogers.”

Steve finished, making sure his eyes didn’t wander. He helped Tony and dried him off. He helped him into his clothes, Tony laughing at the choice of attire.

Steve helped Tony into his room, flicking on the light. Sitting Tony down, he let out a huff as if he had accomplished a great task.

Tony looked up at Steve, a smile playing at the edge of his lips. 

“Your baths aren’t half bad. You could’ve done that for a living.”

Steve let out a hearty chuckle, making Tony’s smile grow into a goofy grin.

“You know, this isn’t how I imagined you taking me to bed,” Tony said as Steve sat in a little arm chair.

“So you’ve imagined it, then?”

“Haven’t you?”

Steve looked at Tony. He had thought about it. Steve started blushing. Tony leaned foreword and rubbed a hand along Steve’s jaw. 

Tony leaned in for a sloppy kiss. Steve stopped him with a finger on his lips.

“You’re drunk, Tony. Go to sleep.”

Grumbling, Tony pulled his blankets over him. A few minutes later he began to snore. 

Steve left the room, switching off the light and lightly closing the door. He picked up the empty gun and stared at it. Sleeping could wait.

“Friday, show me everything that happened after New York.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay, my phone flew out of my hand and broke. Hope this chapter made up for it!


	4. Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drunken night wound up with Tony needing Steve to pick out his clothes. And Steve uncovering a hidden truth about Tony’s mental state.
> 
> Something must be done. But what?

Tony woke with his brain pounding in his skull. He tried to remember the dream he had, but it was quickly fading.

“How much did I drink?” he asked, half to himself.

“Four bottles,” Friday answered.

Tony sat up, taking note of his sleep attire. He didn’t remember anything from last night.

“Would you like me to start you some coffee, sir?”

“That’d be nice, yeah.”

Tony stood up, massaging his head as he stumbled out of his bedroom. He was shocked to see Steve asleep at the table, his head propped up by his arm.

“What is Steve doing here?”

“He helped you, sir. You were quite drunk.”

Tony went up to Steve. There were different footages and documents showing on the table. One was of Tony’s fall to earth after the Chitari attack, a document showed different symptoms of PTSD. Another video showed his time in Tennessee, as well as his different anxiety attacks.

“Clean this up, Friday.” Tony pinches the bridge of his nose.

He went to the kitchen and poured some coffee. He also scrambled some eggs, enough for him and Steve, as well as some toast.

Tony split the food and slid a plate over to Steve, the noise jolting him awake.

“Mm? Yeah!” There was a red imprint on his cheek.

“Oh, hey...” Steve looked at his watch. “9:00.” He gave a wide yawn, pulling his hands down his face.

Tony nudged the plate closer. “I dunno if you like sriracha. There’s some in one of these cabinets.”

Steve dug in, seemingly famished.

“How you feeling?” Steve asked, munching on his toast.

“Awful headache,” Tony chuckled.

“You hadn’t eaten for a week,” Steve stayed. “Your immune system's gone to shit.”

“That’s a bad word. D’you hear that Friday?” Steve tolled his eyes, scraping out the last bit of egg.

“You should eat yours.” Tony hadn’t touched his plate.

“Yeah, fine.”

Steve gave a smirk as Tony started eating. He washed his plate and fork, putting them away. He started to the door when Tony stopped him.

“What happened last night?” he asked.

“Well, ugh,” Steve stammered. “Well, um. I helped you to bed. I’m sure the details will come to you later.” He gave an awkward smile and left. Tony could’ve swore he saw the imprint of a gun in his waistband.

All Tony could do was remember. Oh, god, he was an idiot. The little sleep he got was delayed with his embarrassment. He should probably give Steve something as compensation.

Nothing much happened in the days that passed. No substantial new threats, nothing the rookies couldn’t handle.

Tony had too much time on his hands, so he kept himself busy working on new suits in the garage. Lighter, more bulletproof vests for Steve. Clint was determined to make his own gear, but Natasha agreed to let Tony make a few improvement sleep here and there. Thor already had his own armor and weapon, which Tony has no idea how that worked. He summons his hammer, a lightning strike happens, and Boom! Armor. Still a mystery.

Now Wanda’s and Pietro’s powers were another thing. Tony knew, from what Thor told him, that they came from the Mind Stone, which is currently stuck inside Vision. He needed to make a suit flexible and breathable, as well as some flame-retardant shoes for Pietro. He was going to make Wanda’s similar, though with some normal shoes, and possibly gloves to keep her hands safer.

Tony always waited for Bruce’s return, even though the others have lost hope. He has Friday constantly check for possible signs of him, weather it be Bruce in needy villages, or Hulk desperate to keep himself from harming others.

While tinkering with a new upgrade for his suit, Tony once again thought about his drunken night. Tony kept having to shake it away, yet it pressed at the corners of his mind. Making suits was pretty much muscle memory by now, so his mind always wandered freely.

Tony successfully stopped thinking about that night. But then he thought about the Mandarin.

What if he kept Happy out of it? He wouldn’t have been in a coma for so long; wouldn’t have nearly died. 

What if he had kept Pepper out of it? Kept her safe? 

Reached a little further.

What if.

Tony drew in a shaky breath, noticing how his hands trembled. His heart was beating out of his chest. Tony stumbled away from the suit as his mind spun into panic mode. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t call for help. He could only sit there, utterly useless as his body and mind betrayed him.

Tony felt himself falling, eyes shutting and breath ragged. His mind was back in New York. Falling, falling. His body shutting down and the world a blur as the ground rose to meet him.

Tony was gripping his chest, gasping and spluttering. Panic was in full set as he was unable to say anything except grasp anything in an attempt to stand. 

The minutes that passed felt like an eternity as every attempt to calm down had failed.

As darkness began to seep into the edges of his vision, a firm hand shook his shoulder.

“Stark. I’m going to put this mask on you. It’s going to help you breathe.”

Tony was finally able to take a deep breath, coughing at the sudden intake of air. The mask left once he was able to breathe normally again. Dr. Cho was there with Steve and Clint behind.

“We need to talk,” demanded Steve.

Helen helped Tony into a chair, complaining about how she can help treat this if he would tell her all the symptoms. She promptly left after she took a last look-over.

“When were you going to tell us?!” Steve growled. “Ask for help? This isn’t just one of those problems you can just get over by yourself!” Steve paced the room. Tony’s never seen him this distraught. “I mean, you nearly tore your arms open trying to get out of that room. It’s obvious you’ve been having trouble with-with something since New York! But this has gotten so much worse.”

“Yeah, Tony,” Clint said evenly. A relief compared to Steve’s outrage. “I do catch up on things pretty quick. I knew something else was up when me and Nat got you.” Clint looked Tony up and down, then over at Steve, who was still fuming. “I’ll let you two figure it out.”

Steve’s blood wasn’t boiling, in fact, it was the complete opposite. Tony looked just like Steve before the serum. Coughing, struggling for air, scrambling for his inhaler.

“You just gonna stand there staring at me? Or are you going to yell at me some more?” Tony said, wobbling to his feet.

“You fucking idiot...” Steve let out the breath he realized he was holding. The ice in his blood melted and he was filled with anxious nervousness. As if he were a mother bear that just watched her cub get hurt and not be able to do anything about it.

“Three.” Steve’s voice was already shaky.

“What?”

“Three attempts since Pepper’s death.” Steve pulled up some video tapes from Tennessee and some vitals.

“Kid named Harley. One mention of New York and you run off, vitals through the roof. At the coffee shop with Rhodey week or so before, you run out of the shop after some kid whispers in your ear. Do I need to go on?”

Tony started to say no, but Steve cat him off.

“Five months ago. You had your first attempt. You stuck...a gun in your mouth.” Steve hissed the last part, tears welling in his eyes and voice going hoarse. “Three weeks later, drank so much you could’ve died in your sleep. Five...five days later...”

Steve took a deep breath, face hot and tears streaming down his face.

“I’ve lost too many people Tony, too much family. I can’t lose you too.”

Tony shut down the screens, a wave of sorrow crashing over him. He felt Steve’s hand run down his arm, coaxing him closer. Steve pulled him into a hug, rubbing Tony’s back. They comforted each other, resting their heads on each other’s shoulders.

“I know what it’s like, Tony. You’re not alone.” He petted Tony’s head, letting him rest against Steve.

“It’s ten’o’clock,” Tony eventually croaked out. “We should get some sleep.”

Steve pulled away and led Tony to the hallway and to his room. Tony chuckled and shook his head.

“What?”

“It’s just. This is the second time you’ve helped me get to bed.”

Tony looked at Steve, a smile creeping across his face. “Are you gonna give me a bath this time, too?” 

Steve’s face flushed red and he looked at the floor.

Tony stopped at his door, waving at Steve as he left to his room.

Tony did his nightly routine. Shower, clothes, teeth, security, extracurriculars.

“Hey, Friday. Pull up that Spider-Kid again.” Tony had a pencil and notebook, a blank page ready to sketch out a new design. 

He saw the different YouTube videos of the “Amazing Spider-Man”. One video he was retrieving a stolen purse, another he was stopping a car from hitting a bus. Another one showed him stopping a robbery.

He sat in his chair, the gears turning in his mind.

“Kid’s got potential. Remind me to tell Steve in the morning.”

Pepper might be gone, but at least he had Steve, and a new kid that could use some mentoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if I could add anything to the anxiety attack seen, or if I misrepresented. I think I did a pretty good job based on what I’ve seen in the movies and what I’ve read.


	5. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An emotional night left Tony and Steve closer than ever. They’re unsure of where to go next, until they finally take a step in the right direction.

Steve was awake at 6:00 sharp. He liked to keep a few routines from his military days. He quickly changed and rushed to the kitchen.

Sam was already there at the stove, a pan sizzling on an eye.

“When do you wake up?” Steve questioned.

“5:30,” he said, flipping the inlet in the pan, and flipping off Steve.

With a huff, Steve pulled out a very large griddle to make enough bacon for everyone. He pulled out a few packs of bacon and sausage from the fridge, and Sam got out another Griddle to work on eggs and pancakes.

Together, it took about 20 minutes for everything to cook. Everybody was rising from their rooms, looking like the dead. They sat around the very large table in the huge dining room. They didn’t always stay there, moving to their rooms with food if they wanted some more time alone.

Today everybody stayed at the table, Tony being the only absence which is usual for him. He’s the only one with his own kitchen, so maybe he planned it. 

The table was a sturdy wood, 10 seats surrounded the table. Everybody had their official unofficial seats. Wanda sat with Pietro and Vision on either side of her on the right side of the table. Thor, though absent, had the head of the table, Clint and Natasha facing Wanda. Tony sat at the other end of the table, Rhodes to his right, Steve to his left, and Sam beside Steve.

They took their food and sat, Pietro having two plates of food stacked with pancakes and bacon.

They sat in tired quiet, Clint throwing some light-hearted insults at Pietro, who threw some back.

“Keep eating like that and you’ll be too big to fit through the door,” Clint snickered.

“Is that so, Birdbrain? At least I can eat something without getting to the size of a watermelon!”

Clint threw a grape, hitting Pietro square in the forehead. Pietro picked up a banana, ready to throw it at him. Steve intervened before it got out of hand. 

“All, right, all right. That’s enough.” Steve gave Pietro and Clint a stern look as he went to put his plate in the sink. “I’m headed to my room. Natasha is in charge.”

Even if Steve hadn’t said it, Natasha was always in charge. She was able to get anyone to stop misbehaving with a twitch of a finger.

Steve went to the garage for some quiet. He had the strange urge that he wanted to be alone today, his thoughts cloudy and jumbled, making his head hurt. Steve went to the small corner he and Tony set up so that he could draw and occasionally paint.

He sat in the wide chair and set his little drawing book at the desk and just stared at it. His fingers itches to draw something, but when he tried to put any thought into it, his mind went blank. He let out a growl of frustration.

A few minutes passed of blank staring. Steve was startled when Tony entered the lab, a plate of pancakes in hand. Tony lit up when he saw Steve, giving him a little wave.

Steve waved back, his mood lightening. An idea was starting to form in his head as he watched Tony tinker. Today he was working on something for the wear-and-tear on Pietro's clothes.

When Tony thought, he either tapped his pen to his lips or to his chest. If he was really concentrated he would talk to DUM-E or U, spouting his ideas so he could remember them better.

Steve started a rough sketch. It was of Tony with a finger tapping his chest and another holding a book. It was a 3/4 perspective. Tony sitting in a skinny chair like the ones in his room. He started with the anatomy. The legs were crossed at the ankles, forearms resting on the arms of the little chair he sat in. His black brows furrowed in concentration, his lips slightly pursed. The drawing was darker in tone, more shadows around the eyes and nose. 

Tony noticed Steve’s glances towards him and his frantic scribbles. He hid his smile as to not alert Steve of his knowledge. Instead, he looked down at his list of fabrics and weaves. He could ask Shuri about her choice, but he wouldn’t want to disturb her from her work. 

If only he had his own little stash of vibranium. Then he could get his team tip-top gear and the world would be safer. But he knew what would happen, what always happens. He would make something intended to help, but instead somebody would use it for their own twisted purposes. 

Tony let out a sigh. He would have to make do with what he had. Nothing natural would work. So he would have to invent something. A type of tech that could self-repair and withstand hundreds of thousands of Newtons. It would need to withstand a lot of external forces, friction, and bugs.

Steve watched Tony work, interlacing his own interpretations with real life. A small twinkle in his eye, the signature fuzz that runs along his jaw.

Steve realized he was already half-way done with the drawing. He looked at a clock and almost an hour had passed. Tony was still in his chair, in the same position for an hour.

Steve tried to get back to drawing, but he couldn’t get back into the same focus, so he packed up. Tony noticed the movement and his head shot up.

“You leaving?” he asked.

“Maybe. Nat and I have a meeting at 1.” 

“That’s in four and half hours.”

“Can never be too prepared.”

“Hmm.” Tony looked down. Oh yeah! He needed to tell Steve about the Spider-Kid.

“Hey! I might have a new recruit!” Tony sat aside his book and pulled out his little high-tech hologram phone and showed a few images of the Spider-Man.

He showed him the YouTube videos people have published and the different abilities he has been shown to have.

“Super strength, webs, incredible instincts and reflexes. He has potential.”

Steve seemed to think about it. He began to nod, a smile coming across his face.

“Yeah! Do we know his name?”

“Peter Parker. Lives in Queens. Age 15.”

“15?” Steve seemed to backpedal. “That’s a bit young, isn’t it?”

“He’s already out stopping bank robberies,” Tony started. “We won’t have him do anything too big until he’s ready. We can tell him we’re interested and he can keep doing what he’s been doing.”

Steve agreed to this and sat on the arm of his chair. They both sat there, staring at each other. A small tug pulled at their hearts. 

“So, um. That meeting. What’s it about.” Tony stood to busy himself. He knew the feeling in his chest, he’s felt it a few times before.

“Just some political stuff we need straightened out.” Steve looked down at his hands. He, too, knew what the feeling was. Though he’s only felt it towards two people in his life. 

They had no idea what to talk about, so they stood in heavy silence. Tony cursed under his breath as one of his tools fell to the ground.

“What’re you doing?” Steve asked, trying to end the silence.

“Trying to figure something out for Pietro’s suit. He runs too fast for any natural fabrics, so I need to make some tech that withstand the friction and obstacles.”

“Have you asked Shuri? She’s super smart.” 

“Busy.”

Steve watched Tony fumble with his tools. He chuckled as DUM-E whirred at Tony, with Tony telling them to be quiet.

“I’ll need to come up with some tech that’s durable, yet light as normal cloths. Maybe, hmm.”

“What?” Steve could see Tony’s eyes light up, his eyebrows raise slightly as a thought churned in his head.

“Organic technology that can react and respond to the needs of the wearer.” Since Tony didn’t have vibranium at his disposal, he could make something incredibly similar, but less effective.

He scribbled his thoughts into a book so he didn’t forget it. He needed to work out a lot of formulas and would need to do multitudes of research. But he could get it done.

Tony looked up from his scribbling and into Steve’s eyes. They were so focused and attentive, even though Tony was sure he had little idea what Tony was talking about. Tony saw how a small smile made Steve’s lips curve slightly upwards, his brows lifted. 

Tony could feel his heart quicken, and scratched at his chest in a subtle attempt to ease it. His cheeks began to warm up and a small lump started to form in his throat.

“You know,” Steve started, “I read this comic about a hero with super-speed.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah. I think they used this fire-fighter uniform, it was super light and slim. But fire-fighters couldn’t use it cos it was too expensive or something.”

“I had thought about it, but it still wouldn’t be able to withstand the Mach 10 that Pietro can run at.”

“I guess not.” Steve looked at his hands. “He also had something called the ‘Speed Force Bubble’ or something that protected him.”

Tony went “oh” as it clicked what comic Steve was talking about. He had read a lot of those as a kid, even dressed up as the Flash for Halloween one year.

Steve looked up again and locked eyes with Tony. He licked his chapped lips, rubbing his hands as this- this feeling- filled the room. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to act on it, or if he was supposed to ignore it until it passed.

Tony put aside his book and rose to his feet. He looked at his graphite-smudged hands before wiping them on his pants. 

The silence dragged until it was almost unbearable. They wanted to say everything, yet didn’t know what to say. 

Tony found himself inching closer, Steve soon found himself doing the same. Until they were both only a couple inches away from touching.

“Actions speak louder than words,” Tony said, almost under his breath.

He curled his fingers around Steve’s neck, pulling him close while another hand tugged at his shirt. Their lips landed together. Steve didn’t do anything at first, shocked at what was happening. Then he embraced Tony, his hands resting on Tony’s hips.

Tony’s grip on Steve’s shirt slowly loosened and he shifted it to Steve’s hip. Steve deepened the kiss, lifting Tony slightly off the ground as he lost control of his emotions.

The world was both still and a whirlwind as they grabbed at each other, desperate to get closer. Tony’s head flung back and Steve took it as an invitation to kiss his neck. 

“Friday. Turn off the cameras, please,” Tony choked out.

The lights on the cameras flickered, then turned off, leaving Tony and Steve to their own deeds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That took a while to write. I’m pretty bad at writing steamy scenes, so I left it up to the imagination. Tell me what you want to see next!


	6. Fret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two lovers fret over their intense kiss.

Steve had left for the meeting, dressed in his sharpest suit, Natasha sporting a comfy red shirt and a leather jacket. Tony waved them off before escaping to his room.

There he rifled through the different security cams, outside perimeters, garage, dining room/kitchen, and the game rooms. 

Clint was upside down on a couch reading a thick chapter book, Wanda sat next to him with her back propped up against the arm, a small ball floating in front of her. Pietro and Sam were fighting over some cookies that Rhodes had baked while Rhodes ate a brownie, shaking his head in amusement. 

Tony wanted desperately to talk to him, but he wasn’t too sure. Rhodes has been there for him through thick in thin, he should at least tell him about this, right? Maybe later, Tony decided as he flicked through the last of the cameras.

“How’s this place running? Everything operational? Everybody eating enough?” Tony questioned Friday, rubbing his neck to relieve the tension there.

“They seem to be running out of snacks rather quickly,” she responded.

“Sam and Clint like the Chips Ahoy! right? Add a couple extra boxes to the monthly.” Tony ran through the list in his head. 

Natasha likes beef Jerky, Wanda likes... she likes pretzels. Pietro eats anything, and Rhodey loves homemade brownies. Steve eats thin mints, Thor takes Pop-Tarts. DUM-Es birthday is next week, buy cake. He recited the list to Friday to begin ordering. He decided to make Rhodes some brownies in the meantime. Maybe they could chat over some fresh Brownies.

Tony set to work. His mind powered down as he let himself bake. Doing this was the only kind of a break he got. The beep of the oven rang out and Tony slipped the pan of brownies in. He sat at his table to wait.

He looked over the Stark Industries paperwork. It was a blur of signing, calling, yelling, and fussing. He took out the brownies as the timer went off and sat back, waiting for them to cool.

“How’s the Compound looking?”

“There appears to be a leak in Vision’s room.”

Tony grabbed his plumbing tools and set off down to Vision’s room.

Steve twiddled his thumbs, his leg bouncing wildly as Natasha zoomed down the interstate. Rock music was blasting over the radio and Nat jammed out to the different songs.

Natasha glances over at Steve. She saw his agitated state and turned off the radio.

“What is it? You act like we’re going to your first dance.”

“Just thinking.”

“Thinking? That’s a first,” she laughed at her joke.

Steve forced a little smile. Natasha immediately pulled into the gas station they had nearly passed.

“Woah! What the-“

“Speak.” She had parked and positioned herself, feet up on the seer and ankles crossed, her back resting against the door and her arms propped up on her knees.

Steve huffed and forced his leg to stop shaking. He started to panic a little. How was he supposed to tell Natasha about his love life? His best friend and kick-ass assassin partner, Natasha.

Natasha took notice of his certain type of jitteriness and the constant lick of his lips as if recalling an event. No way! she thought.

“Don’t tell me it’s Tony!” she said, mouth agape and smiling.

“What! Nooooo,” Steve denied, his head shooting up with his brows furrowed.

“It’s so Tony!” she giggled. “Did you kiss him?”

Steve opened his mouth to protest more, but the words wouldn’t come. He nodded, his face contorted in worry.

“Oh my god. You kissed Tony. This is amazing! I knew it!” she laughed and slapped her legs like they were drums. “Clint owes me 20 bucks!”

“Ha, yeah. Wait,” he stared at her in awe, “you knew? How, what?”

Natasha gave him the biggest grin he has ever seen. “It’s so obvious you had a thing for him. You’re in the lab with him almost every day. You look at him as if he hung the stars, but only when he isn’t looking. I mean, c’mon! How could we not know!”

Steve looked at his hands anxiously. “What’m I gonna do?”

“He kissed back, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you should start dating,” she said simply. She started the car and sped back down the interstate.

“Just like that?” 

“Just like that. Buy him some flowers. Get him some food.”

Steve turned on the radio and calmed his racing heart as they drove to the conference.

“Shit!”

Tony cursed as his hand slipped on the wrench. Stupid thing wouldn’t budge. 

“This isn’t a tiny leak, Friday. What the hell!”

Tony was sitting on the bathroom floor, the water that had pooled on the floor was soaking into his pants.

“Imma fix you right up. The mean people hurt you, hmm,” Tony spoke to the plumage. He let out a grunt as the wrench finally got it loose. Fixing up the pipes, he muttered little words of comfort.

“There you go, little guy,” Tony said as he finished. “Good as new.” He mopped up the mess and went back to his room. Maybe he could get some rest in.

He sat his tools down with a clunk. Tony rubbed his sore shoulder, feeling the scars that laced it. He entered his room, his blankets a mess on the bed. Tony changed and sat down in his armchair.

He took the faced-down photograph that sat on the nightstand. It was of him and Pepper at one of the many conventions they went to. In this one, she was smile, leaning on Tony as he laughed, his face red as a tomato. Tony started at the picture, his body numb as his mind spun.

He felt a single run down his cheek, a few more following it. Tony had started to feel again. He promised himself he wouldn’t, but he did. Stupid old man, he thought. Stupid kiss. I’m such an idiot.

Tony sat the photo aside as he curled up the seat, sobbing a wild, ugly sob. He ran a finger along the scar that dipped into his chest. He had taken the arc reactor out for her. Everything he does is just a painful memory. 

He didn’t even hear the door creak open, nor Rhodes entering and rushing to his side.

“Tony? Are you okay?” Rhodes took his hands away from his face.

Tony shook his head no as he dragged his feet off the seat. 

“I kissed him, Rhodey,” he said hoarsely. “Why did I kiss him?”

Tony’s head fell to Rhodey’s shoulder, and Rhodey let it stay there. He patted Tony’s back saying, “It’s okay,” as Tony sniffles into his shirt.

“Hey, Tones. My shirt is soaked.” 

Tony pulled himself up, looking down at his feet.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

He looked up at Rhodey, his eyes unfocused and cloudy. “She’s gone, Rhodey. She’s gone, and it’s all my fault. Now I’m going off kissing someone else while she’s still dead.”

“Tones...” Rhodes looked at him in despair. 

Tony gave him a bitter grin, his teeth grinding together. He scoffed and wiped the tears away. 

“Check up on Happy for me, would ya?” Tony buried his face in his hands as he let out trembling breaths.

“Don’t push me away, Tony.” Rhodes thought for a moment. “Do you love him?”

“What?” Tony looked up sharply.

“Do. You. Love him?”

Time seemed to slow. Did he? Did Tony Stark- billionaire, playboy, philanthropist- love Steve Rogers?

Yes, he does. And it hurts.

Tony gave Rhodes a simple nod, shame making his cheeks burn.

“You can’t stop love, Tones,” Rhodey said with a soft smile. “It just leaves you hurt worse in the end.”

And with that, Rhodes left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this came out so late, guys!
> 
> Please leave your input in the comments and some suggestions you have for other chapters.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Lots of Manly Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony pays a certain Peter Parker a surprise visit while Steve’s having an existential crisis.

Steve sat through the meeting, Natasha having to nudge him every time he was asked a question because his mind wandered. The drive home was Natasha asking questions, “What was it like? Who started it? Are you planning on doing it again?”

Tony had decided sleep could wait, he had better things to do. He downed some coffee and flew to Queens in his suit. He parked it in one of the motorcycle spaces and headed to the Parker’s apartment. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door.

There was a small, “Hello? Who is it?” before the door swung open. “Oh my god!” the lady said, flabbergasted as she saw Tony standing outside her door. She had long brown hair and tanned skin, a small amount of sweat dotted around her face.

“Hello. May I come in?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah!”

She waved him in and hurried back to the kitchen where she frantically pulled out a pan from the oven. There were a few beeps before she joined Tony in the living room.

“So what’s Tony Stark doing in my living room?” she chuckled.

“May, is it?” Tony put forward his hand and May took it. “I’m here about Peter.”

“Oh, really? Wait, he hasn’t done something bad, has he?”

“No, I’m actually here to hire him.”

“Hire him?” May was perplexed.

“Yes. He has shown great intelligence that can be incredibly useful for Stark Industries. If he agrees I’d like to set up something with you two.”

“He should be home any minute now. Wow.” She had a huge smile plastered on her face. “What kind of uses?”

“We’re finding more and more ways to better help the environment. I’m hoping that Peter can give insight while also helping with production.” Tony gave her a little smile. “I sent him an email, so I’m sure he knows about the offer.”

Then, the door creaked open, revealing a scruffy, brown haired kid with a small box tucked under his arm.

“Umm...” The kid took in the scene, his brows creasing in confusion and his mouth slightly agape.

“Hey, Peter. This is Tony Stark!” May waved at Tony and coaxed Peter further into the room.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Woah! Hey!” Peter stammered, “What, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve noticed your work. Chemistry and mechanics are looking... prosperous.” He gave Peter a knowing smile. “I sent you an email, I’m sure.”

“Right... yeah. That email.” Peter feigned his knowledge. Of course Tony hadn’t sent him an email.

“About the internship I’m willing to offer you. At Stark Industries.”

Peter’s eyes went wide, but he quickly collected himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this, Pete?” May asked, excitement radiating off of her.

“I thought, I mean, I wanted to be a surprise...” Peter fumbled over his words. “I’m gonna go drop this off.” He took his stuff and dashed to his room, shutting the door behind him.

“I’ll go after him,” Tony said, giving May another smile before following Peter.

Tony walks into his room, shutting the door behind him. Peter quickly spun around, a look of anger and confusion on his face.

“Easy there. I come in peace.” Tony let his eyes wander around the room. A small desk had different, old computer parts strewn about it. There was a twin bed with simple light blue sheets, and a variety of science-y posters and pamphlets were taped up on the wall. His dresser had different Star Trek action figures and a photo of Peter with a few classmates who were all dressed in a yellow jacket.

“I definitely didn’t get an email-“ Tony cut Peter off.

“Nun, uh. Me first.” He pulled out his phone, tapping it a few times. A video of Spider-man swinging across the screen, pulling a thief’s foot out from under him. “This- this is you, isn’t it?” Another video had Peter pulling a gun from a robber’s hand as the latter attempted to rob a little store.

“Umm, no-“

Another video had Peter save an out-of-control car from swerving into a busy intersection.

“That was a nice save!” he exclaimed. Tony examined the room once more, pocketing his phone. “I mean, having to juggle saving people and school, can’t be easy. And catching 3,000 pound cars hurtling towards civilians at 55 miles an hour. Puts me to shame.”

Peter kept trying to cut in and object, but Tony hushed him with a stern look. Peter let out a frustrated huff.

“You know those videos are fake right? I mean, they’re just CGI.” Peter attempted to use CGI as an excuse.

“Right, like the moon landings?”

“Yeah, wait, what?”

Tony pulled out a red and blue suit from a hidden box stuffed in the closet. Peter quickly grabbed it from him and shoved it back in the box, shutting the lid and sliding the currents over the closet.

“So, Spider-kid? Spider-boy?” Tony hid the grin that was threatening to expose itself. Peter was leaning against the wall, looking down at the ground.

“It’s, it’s Spider-man.”

“Not in that onesie,” Tony remarked. Peter looked offended.

“It’s not a onesie,” he defended himself. “And it’s nothing you need to be worried about.” He pushed himself off the wall, and went to sit at his desk chair.

“Oh, I’m not worried,” Tony said, pulling the suit back out to examine it. “Anybody else know?”

“Nobody.” He quickly said, “And I intend to keep it that way.”

“Alright, don’t get your panties in a twist.” Tony put the eye goggles to his face, finding it darker than any pair of sunglasses he’s ever owned. “How do you see through these.”

“Would you stop?” Peter took the suit and shoved it away in its box once again. “It helps filter out the light. Let’s me focus.”

Tony grabbed Peter by the wrist, looking him in the eye as he pulled up the sleeve of Peter’s jacket.

“Organic webs filtered through mechanical shooters.” Peter tugged his arm free of Tony’s grasp. “Do have to eat the webs again like real spiders?”

“What? No!” He tugged at the hem of his sleeve. “Look, it’s cool that you’re here and all, but what do you want?”

“You are in dire need of an upgrade,” Tony stated.

“I don’t have the kind of cash or resources you do. I mean, I was lucky to find the parts to this thing-“ Peter tapped his old, home-built computer “-so being able to make that suit and help people is actually super big for me.”

“And that’s why I’m here.” Peter sat on his bed, twiddling with his thumbs as Tony spoke. Tony sat in Peter’s desk chair and gave Peter a comforting smile.

“Lemme guess, you got these powers, what, six months ago?” Peter nodded. “Super strength, guess that can make you fast, too. Ever tried football, soccer?”

“Yeah, sure. But I’m just a computer geek,” he waved to his Star Treck memorabilia and to his little chemistry set he had on one side of his desk. “If I couldn’t play football six months ago, why should I be able to play it now?”

Tony felt a pang of sympathy for the kid. Peter continued, “When you get these kinds of powers, powers that can help people, and then you see someone getting mugged in an alley, or see that there was a murder on the news, that’s on you.”

Tony looked down at his feet. He took a deep breath before responding. “So you wanna stick up for the little guy? Help where others can’t.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Peter waved in the direction of his web shooters that were stuffed away in one of his desk drawers. “If I can’t- won’t- help, then who else will?”

There was a warm feeling inside Tony’s heart, and for once it wasn’t anxiety. This kid's got heart.

“I’ll tell you what, kid,” Tony said taking a seat beside Peter on the bed. “I get you the stuff you need to help others, and, when you’re ready, you help me when I ask.”

“What kind of help?”

“A lab partner doesn’t sound so bad.”

Peter gave Tony a wide grin. “So, scratch each other’s back?”

“Yup.” Tony stood and pulled a watch out of his pocket.

“What’s this?” Peter asked as Tony secured the watch on Peter’s wrist.

“Tap this twice, and you got web shooters on the go.” Tony tapped the face of the watch twice, and a little device attached itself to Peter’s organic web shooters. Tony moved Peter’s other wrist to the watch, and another web shooter attached to the other arm.

“I’ll call you when I need you. Expect mail.” And with that, Tony left the room, leaving an excited and thankful Peter Parker to play with his new toy.

Tony went over to shake May’s hand once again. “I’ll call you if we need Peter to come up to SI. He can work from home until he graduates.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Stark. This is wonderful!”

Tony exited the apartment buildings and shooed away a few kids who were messing with his suit. Finally, he flew back home.

Steve collapsed in his room, worn out from his meetings and restless sleep the night before. He pulled out his phone to see if he got any texts, disappointed to find none. He looked at the clock, seeing that it was 4:00.

He let out an exasperated sigh. He flicked through different news stationed and, finding none that interested him, switched it back off again.

“Hey Friday, where’s Tony at?” Steve immediately regretted asking.

“He’s in his lab, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose. The last time he was in the lab with Tony it hadn’t exactly turned out like he expected it to. They hadn’t had sex, no, but it was intimate enough to make a lasting impression on their relationship. What the hell was he supposed to do?

Steve loved spending time with Tony. The way he smiled at Steve’s “back in my day” jokes, and Tony teasing him about his lack of technological intelligence. The way Tony hummed as he worked, and the way he cared for his robots, treating them like his kids. How Tony had made Steve his own little space in his lab, just for Steve.

And Steve had been selfish. He reciprocated, even though Tony was still grieving over Pepper. God he loved Tony to bits, but now what?

But Tony had kissed him first, and he had done it pretty well.

Steve shook his head to clear the thought. No, it was cruel and it was selfish. He shouldn’t had taken advantage of Tony like that.

**When The Cameras Turned Off**

Tony and Steve had crumpled into Steve’s chair, Steve kissing the sensitive skin under Tony’s ear. Tony moaning Steve’s name, pulling and clawing at Steve’s shirt.

“Fuck you. You know I have heart problems,” Tony had breathed into Steve’s ear.

“Fucking idiot,” he replied, his nose brushing under Tony’s chin. Steve had looked at the time. It was 9:00, four hours till he had to leave.

Then he began to think about what he was doing. Was Tony drunk? It didn’t taste like Tony had drunk any alcohol. Was he just trying to cope with the grief? Being the playboy he used to be, sleeping with anyone who looked at him nice.

Steve had stood up and backed away quickly, leaving Tony feeling cold and confused.

“What is it?” Tony asked, rising from the armchair.

“What’s happening?” Steve asked quietly, crossing his arms as if he were cold.

“Kissing?” Tony had chuckled nervously. “Thought we were doing rather well.”

“This is wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“What do you mean? This isn’t the 40s anymore.” Tony steppes closer to Steve, but he backed away from him.

“I should go,” Steve said and quickly left the room.

Tony leaned against a table, shock and confusion coursing through him, as well as despair. Did Steve think he was faking it? He thought the kiss had made it pretty clear.  
  


**Now**

Steve facepalmed himself, letting out an angry breath as he recalled the events. He was so stupid. Maybe he should’ve given Tony what he wanted and not have run away.

Fuck. He loved Tony and it fucking sucked.

Tony sat in the lab, staring at his phone as if he were expecting someone to call. He had unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it flowing, and a pancake still sat on one table, stale and cold.

“Shit,” he said to himself as a flood of emotions returned. He rubbed at his chest as his heart began to ache.

Did Steve even like him back? He kissed like he did, but then he ran away. What kind of mixed signals was that? They were convoluted and difficult to process. Maybe he should go talk to him. Tony stood and made the walk of depression to Steve’s room. But Tony moving his anxious ass was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

“Just go and apologize!” Tony scolded himself as he opened the lab doors.

“Just go and apologize!” Steve came to a final conclusion. Just go and apologize and never speak of it again. It would hurt the worst, but it was for the best.

Steve dragged himself out of bed and past his living room. It didn’t help the process when he saw the different photos of him and Tony. One photo was during a party at the Avengers’ Tower. Tony’s cheeks were slightly blushed from alcohol and he looked like he was about to burst into a fit of laughter. Steve was nearly holding him up with a hand on his hip. He was struggling to hold in his laugh- Steve remembered, Rhodes had told one of his many well-timed jokes- as he leaned into Tony’s arm that was strewn across Steve’s shoulders. Of course he had that stupid photo framed.

Steve smiled at the memory, making his feat a million times more difficult. He looked towards the door to the hallway and his heart dropped. He had to do this.

Steve opened the door and nearly fell back in shock. Tony had a fist raised, poised to knock, a look of nervousness on his face. Tony looked equally surprised to see Steve.

“Ugh. Hey?” Tony attempted a smile but it fell flat.

“Hi.”

“So, umm.” Tony stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. He had buttoned back up his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair one too many times. Tony rocked back and forth on his feet, looking more embarrassed than he ever had in his entire life.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck and fought down the urge to give Tony the biggest hug he’s ever had in his entire life. To talk to him about the most random shit like they usually did. Goof off and insult each other and laugh at each other. When did all of this even start? When had Steve Rogers fallen in love with THE Tony Stark?

And why was it so damn hard to let go.

“I, ugh, wanted to apologize for this morning,” Tony said without looking up.

“I wanted to say sorry, too,” Steve mumbled. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

Tony looked up, his brows creased in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean... you kissed me and...”

“Yeah?” Tony didn’t know why he was pressing Steve for a response, it was more desperation than curiosity.

“And you weren’t right, okay! I’m just not the one! I can’t be. I... I'm just some guy from Brooklyn.” Steve crossed his arms again, looking down at the ground.

“Steve... no...” Tony didn’t know what to say. Steve just didn’t think he was good enough? What?!

“I’m just not Pepper.” Steve nearly whispered it.

Fuck. It all started to click in Tony’s head.

“God, Steve. That’s not... I didn’t.” Tony had no idea what to say. Steve thought Tony kissed him because Tony wanted to get over Pepper? “Shit.”

They just stood there staring at each other, their minds at war with their hearts. Tony rubbed his chest to try and end the conflict, but it was to no avail.

Tony stepped closer, Steve not backing away. Tony noticed he was still wearing his suit and tie, slightly crumpled. Tony felt a little smile tug at his lips. He gently smoothed our Steve’s tie, looking up into his eyes.

Tony’s hand drifted from the tie and to Steve’s face, cupping Steve’s jaw.

“I love you, you fucking idiot.”

All of Steve’s pent up emotions spilled out as he pulled Tony in. No kiss, just a hug. His arms wrapped around Tony and squeezed tight, as if afraid he would lose him there and then.

“I love you, too,” Steve croaked. Tears began to stream from his eyes and fall onto Tony’s shirt. Tony gently closed the door with his foot, careful not to disturb Steve.

Tony hummed a little tune, and they swayed side to side. They stayed like that for a few moments, relaxing as they calmed each other’s racing hearts.

“You know what?” Tony said softly. “I’m really craving a cheeseburger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot of manly tears, real depressing. Sorry this one came out late! Leave a comment, it really helps!


	8. Green Return

Tony and Steve had settled on Steve’s couch, a movie playing on the television. Tony had his head resting against Steve’s chest, and they were smiling at their newfound closeness.

Steve had his arm wrapped around Tony’s chest, his other hand petting Tony’s hair. His legs were propped up on the coffee table, burger wrappers and napkins littered at his feet. Tony’s legs were stretched across the couch and over the arm.

“I think those were the best burgers I’ve ever had in my life,” Steve said with a content sigh.

“Mmm,” Tony grunted in response. His fingers danced along the scar on his chest. Steve knew he was thinking about something painful when he traced his scar like that.

“Hey, what’s up?” Steve asked softly, his fingers dancing through Tony’s hair.

“Oh, umm,” Tony moves his hand away from his chest, “nothing. Just thinking.”

“I can tell.” Steve moved his arm from Tony’s chest and moved his hand to Tony’s scar. Tony had unbuttoned his shirt and hadn’t removed it completely just to prevent himself from stripping entirely.

Steve traced his fingers along the little dip in Tony’s chest. The surgery to remove the arc reactor had left Tony’s chest sore and lighter, the change in weight making it hard to get used to at first. Steve didn’t have any scars himself, his healing properties making it impossible to leave a lasting impression.

“You can tell me,” Steve reassured him.

“It’s just, well.” Tony let out a sigh. “It’s Bruce. I feel we should have looked for him more.”

“Bruce...” Steve felt a twinge of guilt, for he hadn’t thought about the scientist for a while. “We did the best we could,” Steve was convincing himself as well as Tony. “He’s spent years in hiding. If he wanted to be found he would’ve let us get him.”

“Yeah, it’s just, I think I could’ve done better.”

“Do... do you want to look for him again?”

Tony stiffened a little under Steve’s hand. Steve began to panic inwardly, afraid that Tony might freak out or yell at him.

“Look for him...” Tony repeated as if he’d never thought of him.

“Of course, we’ll have to start in the morning,” Steve jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “Do you, ugh, want me to write it down?”

“Yeah. Not right now, though,” Tony said as Steve began to get up, “I’m comfortable.”

Tony found himself drifting off while Steve dared not to shift as to not disturb him. Soon, Steve could hear Tony’s breath, warm and sleepy. Steve had a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest as Tony’s sleep deepened.

Steve’s eyes slowly drifted closed, and before he knew it, it was morning, the sun shining brightly outside. Tony was gone, a little, bunched up blanket in his place.

“Tony?” he croaked, his voice not yet warmed up.

Steve got up, stretching out his stiffened muscles.

“Where’s Tony at, Friday?”

“Tony is right here with some delicious pancakes.” Tony entered Steve’s living room, two plates of pancakes in hand, and two mugs precariously perched at the edges of the plate, nearly touching the syrup.

Steve hurried to help, grabbing the mugs full of steaming coffee. He gave Tony a wide smile, recalling the sleepy events of last night.

“What time is it?” Steve asked, setting the mugs down on the coffee table, crumbling the burger wrappers from the previous night and throwing them away.

“Nearly 8.” Tony sat down the food and they began to eat, chatting lightly in between. Steve began to clean up when Friday’s voice came from the ceiling.

“Mr. Stark, there appears to be a very large figure coming straight for the Compound. Would you like me to set off the alarm?”

“Yeah, sure.” He said nonchalantly, not particularly worried. What’s the worst that could happen?

Tony ran down to his lab to grab a suit while Steve grabbed his shield from beside the door. They ran outside, their eyes darting every which way to find the approaching danger.

“ _Staaarrrk_!” came a booming voice, followed by a thundering boom as the figure landed on the earth. They spun, eyes widening at the familiar shape lumbering towards them.

“ _Bruce_?!” Tony exclaimed, lowering his hands to his sides.

It was the Hulk, though he was battered and... he looked afraid. His skin shifted between peach and green as his pace slowed from a spring to a weary drag. He fell into Tony’s arms, fully Bruce, the ragged shorts he wore barely hanging on to his waist as they began too big for his now-small frame.

“Bruce, what happened? Are you okay?” Steve asked, running up to help. Tony had retracted his helmet, staring wide-eyed at Bruce, who was clinging desperately to Tony.

Bruce looked like he was dissolving as his eyelashes fluttered and he sunk to the ground.

“Go-go get Helen!” Tony demanded, crouching down to assist the now passed out Banner. He supported Bruce with an arm under his legs and another around his torso, carrying him down to the med bay in the compound.

Helen ran to meet him, her crew of doctors/scientists following behind. Tony gently laid Bruce down on the cot they wheeled out. Steve was close behind, his shield no where in sight.

“How did he even find us?” Steve asked, falling behind the doctors as they pushed Bruce the rest of the way.

“I’ve no idea.” Tony’s mind spun as he raced to think of why Banner was here- _how_ Banner was here. “Bit ironic, huh,” he joked, “we were just about to look for him again, too.”

Steve looked at him with slight worry. Tony likes to joke when he was stressed. He stopped Tony with a hand on his chest, standing slightly in front of him, close enough to whisper.

“Standing close there, Captain.”

Steve ignored him. “We need to go tell the team.”

“Getting to that,” Tony said, his armor glistening in the light of the hall.

“Now,” Steve demanded. “Thor, too, when he comes back tomorrow.”

“Well that’s tomorrow.” Tony nearly snapped, but he kept his composure. “Look, you tell the team and I’ll try to figure out where he came from and why he’s here.”

Steve gave him a frown. Tony averted his eyes, knowing that that frown could make him change his mind in an instant.

“Banner is family, everyone needs to be there.”

“No, I need to be busy while _you_ tell the others.”

“C’mon, Tony,” Steve pleaded, his hand falling from Tony’s chest and down to his side. “I’d like you to be there.”

Tony let out a sigh. “Let me put my suit away first.” Steve tried, and failed, to keep the smile off his face.

Tony summoned the others to the main, large-spaced living room that was mainly used for movie nights. They took their seats and waited anxiously for the news.

“First things first,” Steve started, hands resting on his belt, “Bruce is back.”

“What?” Natasha exclaimed, a smile painted on her face.

“Big Green has returned,” Tony said, eyes scanning the room.

“But how did he find us? I mean, we moved,” Rhodes pointed out, voicing Steve’s earlier concern.

“We’re still figuring that out,” Steve said. “Bruce is in the med bay. Helen is taking care of him until he recovers-“

“Recovers?” Clint questioned.

“He was lookin’ rough when he fell gloriously into my arms,” Tony said with a fake smile.

“I could, maybe, help,” Wanda offered, her Russian accent cutting through the living room. “If he does not wake up soon, that is.”

“Thanks, Wanda,” Steve said. Natasha turned to give her a little smile which Wanda returned.

“Welp,” Tony clapped his hands together, “I’m gonna go to the lab. Call Steve if ya need me.” And with that, he took off.

Steve let out a sigh, sliding his hand down his face. There was a small pat on his shoulder, making Steve look up.

Natasha was there with a comforting grin on her face. “You okay?” She asked in a quieter voice, “You get the whole Tony thing sorted out?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, yeah. I guess I did.”

She snickered and patted his shoulder a few more times before exiting to the hall. Wanda was leaning against the couch and chatting with Vision, small red sparkles playing at her fingertips. Steve noticed they pent more time together, and Vision looked relaxed and was smiling. Steve felt a little warm feeling in his heart as he watched them.

“Lookin’ a little messy there, Captain,” Sam joked, startling Steve our of his thoughts.

“Trouble sleeping,” he lied.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Trouble sleeping, that’s it.” He laughed at Steve before marching off.

Pietro had already left, getting upset at Wanda ignoring him. Steve, himself, eventually left the living room and to the med bay.

He stood warily outside the glass of the room, looking in at the operation. There was a scanner around Bruce, and Bruce was lying there, sweat dripping off of him, a cloth draped over his bare body. There was a doctor keeping his head from thrashing about, gentle hands keeping his head in place.

He pondered over what could’ve happened to get him in this state. It was always rough once Bruce returned from his Hulk form, stretch marks covering his body, sweat leaking from him like a faucet, his bones jutting out of him like knives, and colder than the arctic. This time he had all the symptoms, but doubled. He was red all over, covering him from head to toe. He was nearly too slick to hold down, making Steve ready to intervene if he was needed. Bruce was shivering so much that he looked as if he were having a seizure, his lips an alarming shade of blue.

Steve was about to avert his eyes when one of the doctors popped a couple pills in Bruce’s mouth. In a few seconds, he was still except a frantic rise and fall of his stomach. Helen saw him and waved him in.

Steve anxiously opened the door, eyes darting between the ever-calming Bruce and Dr. Cho.

“He’s feeling better, but I think he would like someone he knows better,” Cho explained.

Steve looked at her curiously. Cho was probably closer to Bruce than Steve was.

“I have to do some research to do,” she explained, noting the confused look on his face.

Steve stood next to Bruce, looking down at him with worry. He took the sickly scientist’s hand, rubbing a thumb across the back of it to provide a little comfort.

Tony let out his pent-up anger on his training dummy that he had set up in his lab. Using his different techniques, and slapping the hell out of it.

Banner just leaves without a care in the world, and now he thinks he can wander back in with a sob story? Well, of course he could, but come on! Just falls back into Tony’s life. Everyone expects Tony to save them, Tony the hero. The fixer-upper.

Tony hit the daylights out of his dummy, thoughts running wild, getting angrier and hotter the more he went. One of the only people could relate to just ups and flies away, leaving him to be the brains.

_Well it’s not fair!_

Without thinking, Tony balled his hand in a fist, punched the dummy, letting out a grunt of pain as the rubber crushed his knuckles. Tony let out a sigh, examining his battered hand. All his knuckles were bruised, one had a slight gash in it. Tony let out a grumbled as he went to grab some band-aids and ice.

He filled a little bag with ice, bandaging his hand, securing the ice on his knuckles. Tony winced at the sudden cold and sting on his damaged fist.

After grimacing a moment, he began to look for the Hulk’s route to the Compound. Tony first looked for how he got to the United States. He could worry about where he crashed later.

A few hours of trial and error finally gave Tony his results. Banner hitched a ride on a cargo ship to get over to the Americas. He then went off the grid, which was impressive seeming as even Tony couldn’t find him. Then suddenly, a month later, he resurfaced, popping up on top-secret government watchlists, mainly under a man named... Ross. General Ross? THE General Ross?

Tony remembered Ross’ pestering over rules and regulations, trying to lock up Wanda and force the rest of the Avengers into a strict code of do’s and don’t’s. Tony and Steve had fought over it before Steve eventually agreed to sign, but made extreme changes afterwards, practically freeing them of the accords entirely. The entire process had left Tony mentally and physically exhausted, country after country, nation after nation calling to yell and protest and wave off the Avengers as if they were pieces of meat. Tony hid how much scrutiny they were all under, taking blow after blow. He nearly didn’t survive the process since Pepper wasn’t there.

Now his nightmare had returned, attacking family, turning them into a worse state than Tony could ever imagine. Tony pulled up the med bay’s security cams once again, analyzing the scene before him.

Steve gently rubbing Bruce’s hand as Bruce panted, red streaks painted on his skin, his lips a less alarming shade of blue. Seeing that Bruce was in a more stable condition, Tony moved the screen to the corner of his “screen board”. He pulled a holographic file from the table, flipping through the pages.

He saw that Ross worked with gamma bombs, and a few months scratched away from his record.

“Consider my interest piqued, jackass,” Tony muttered.

Tony dug through everything he could and turned up empty. Growling with anger and stress, Tony shut down the table with two claps. He stood and walked around a bit.

“What could he _be_ Friday?” Tony dragged his hands down his face. “Hey DUM-E, start some coffee for me, woulda?”

DUM-E gave a little whir as he clumsily rolled to the counter.

“Careful! Or I’ll donate you to a playground!” Tony shook himself out, as if he were trying to shake the sleepiness off.

“From what I’ve observed,” Friday responded, “he has chased Dr. Banner for many years while experimenting with Gamma Bombs. Then there’s a 9 month gap in his record.”

“Oh my god he gave birth!” Tony nearly doubled over laughing at his own joke. He whiped away his tears, his exhaustion making everything funnier than it actually was.

“Alright, alright. So, maybe he turned into some version of the hulk himself? Friday, look for some other type of hulk. Hopefully he’ll be a different color,” he added.

“Sir, I’m seeing a few reports on a “Red Hulk” in multiple Army databases. Would you like me to access them?”

“I’d rather not have the Army breathing down my neck.” Tony tapped his fingers together. “Get the most you can without it being illegal.”

“Yes sir.”

Tony combed through what Friday could scavenge. There were no records or news reports of any rampages, which concerned him. He’s had these “Red Hulk” for a mere few months and has had no incidents?

“Assuming that Ross is Red Hulk, and that Red Hulk is mostly similar to Hulk, he should be pissed all the time, right?” Tony talked to himself.

DUM-E spilled a little bit of coffee on the floor as he handed the mug to Tony.

“You spilt it dummy. Get the mop. Go get the mop and clean it. Don’t look at me like that.”

Tony crossed his arms, letting out a huff as he stared at the reports before him. He took a swig of coffee and sat the mug on a table.

“How about some seismic waves? They jump a lot, so they should make some noise.”

“I do see some small seismic activities in New Mexico.

“Get me a map.” Tony climbed onto a desk, looking down at the map of New Mexico. “Wasn’t there a Hulkbusting place down there?”

“Yes, sir. But it seems that project has been shut down.”

“When?”

“For a few years now.”

“Hmm.” Tony thought a moment. “Ross was the General for that, yeah?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tony pointed to an area that had a small crater, and reported seismic waves.

“Get me stuff from there.”

“Stuff, sir?”

“Videos, conspiracy theories, aliens, anything Hulk related.”

A row of YouTube videos of crazy conspiracies and Hulk-related news flew by Tony’s head. He plucked out a few of them, tossing them into a holographic trashcan at one corner of the projection.

“Sorry to interrupt, sir, but there’s a call from Happy coming through.”

“Yeah, yeah. Put him through.”

“Tony! What’s this about a Spider-man? I can’t be juggling all your projects. I’m already having to move everything from this Tower, be the head of security at _your_ company, and now I have to look after some kid?”

“You do such a great job, Hap! I can’t give him anybody else, and you’re closest.” Tony flipped through a crazy Hulk theory before throwing it away.

“But Tony!” Happy whined. “I’m not your babysitter! Can’t one of your hero friends do it?”

“None of their powers are necessarily child-friendly.” An assassin, two cocky birds, two soldiers, one Speedy Gonzales, a robot, a witch, and now some angry broccoli that got himself in a pickle. _And I’m not much parent material_ , Tony thought as he finally narrowed down the videos to a select few.

“Why are trying to recruit a child, anyways? Isn’t it a little dangerous.”

“I’m-I’m not recruiting him. I’m just giving him an extra little boost.” Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose. “He can already catch cars, Happy. He’s gonna fling himself headfirst into danger with or without me there.”

“Speaking of your kids, when’s the last time you checked on that Harley kid?”

“Harley?” Tony sat on the desk, patting his legs as he looked at the reports before him. “Not sure, why?”

“Well, he’s causing quit the ruckus in Tennessee. Trying to recreate that suit of yours. Mechanical prodigy, they say.”

“Recreate? Why would he...?” Tony drifted off, distracted by the video displayed in front of him.

It was blurry, but the distinct shape of the Hulk was visible. Along with a blurry red shape, same size but with a haze around him as if he were radiating immense heat.

“I gotta go, Happy. Say hi to Peter for me. He’s got another package on the way.”

“Another package wha-“ Tony hung up before Happy could finish.

He looked back at the screens. _What the hell is this guy?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Bruce is back! I sprinkled in a bit of IronLad at the end, Harley being a delinquent.


	9. Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Drunkenness and self harm.

Tony turned off all the monitors, his brows scrunching together as he thought over this new information. He let out a breath, looking down at his coffee as he determined his next step. “Telling Steve” was the best he could come up with at the moment. With a sigh, Tony grabbed his coffee and headed to the med bay.

Steve was inside, sitting in an uncomfortable-looking chair, a finger pressed to his lips. He was staring at Bruce, who was asleep, though twitching and mumbling. 

Tony knocked lightly on the window. Steve spun around quickly, started by the sudden noise. Tony gave a little wave, inviting himself inside. He cast worried glances at Bruce.

Bruce’s lips were horribly chapped, the skin peeling and sore. The redness of stretch marks had begun to heal, and he was no longer in a cold sweat. 

“I see he got a bit better,” Tony commented, resting a hand on the back of Steve’s chair.

Steve merely nodded in agreement, his brows furrowed and a frown painted on his face.

“Do you know what happened to him?” Steve asked. 

Tony pulled up a chair, taking a sip of coffee as he sat down. “He dropped off the grid, as you know. I couldn’t find him for a few years after that. But a “Red Hulk” did show up on my radar. You remember Ross, right? The guy with the accords and the mustache? Well it seems that either he has something to do with the Red Hulk or he  _ is _ the Red Hulk. Anyways, it looks like Bruce here was running from him. That’s just a guess, though.”

“Red Hulk? Ross?” Steve whispered. 

“Yeah. It’ll be easier to piece together once Bruce recovers enough to tell us what happened.”

“Hey, what happened to your hand?” he asked, running a thumb along the bandages along Tony’s knuckles.

“Just a scrape, don’t worry about it.”

Steve let out a sigh, rubbing his forehead. “I’ll go check on everyone,” he mumbled as he stood from the little chair. Steve leaned down and pressed a little kiss to Tony’s cheek before exiting the med bay.

Tony felt himself get giddy at the small gesture. He touched the still-warm spot on his cheek, a giggle rising in his throat.

A cough from Banner snapped him out of his daydream. A few more coughs shook his body and he started wheezing. 

“Doctor! Doctor! Helen get in here!” Tony shouted. He ran to Bruce, who was now thrashing and panting, and pinned down his shoulders. Tony laid an ear on his chest, finding out it was the source of his restricted breathing.

Helen and her team raced through the door, medical supplies in tow. 

“Move, please,” Helen asked, pressing her stethoscope to Bruce’s chest. She spouted off different medical supplies that Tony was too worried to pay attention to. 

“Mr. Stark, wait outside.”

“What?” Tony exclaimed. 

“There’s nothing you can do here.” One of the doctors shooed him out, shutting the door behind him. They then clicked a button, blackening the windows to ensure complete privacy. 

Tony clenched his fists at his sides, digging his nails into his palm to extinguish some of the anger. He decided to go to his lab, maybe tinker.

He got to the lab, opened the glass door and was drawn to the liquor wall. Tony fiddled with his fingers as he inched closer. Thinking of past events, his anxiousness cleared.

Tony opened the glass door to pull out one of his stronger bottles of whiskey. He took the cork screw off the table and popped the lid. 

He drank. A lot.

Pepper was dead. That took three shots. Pepper has been dead for a while. Three years maybe. Tony lost count after a week. He let those shots settle in his mouth, burn in his throat. Another thought of Pepper meant another mouthful of whiskey.

Bruce wasn’t getting better. That took two. One of his best friends, one of the only people in the world who understood him, probably wouldn’t wake up. Bruce leaves him to run things by himself, only to show back up just so Tony can show up to his funeral. Those shots he downed, anger rising, tears burning behind his eyes.

Five shots. Why not six? Who counted? Steve wasn’t around, so he could pass another.

Why would Steve be around? It’s not like they’re dating. The whole thing was just a pity party. Tony did have a drink before that kiss in the lab. Steve could probably taste it. Steve is too busy taking care of his  _ team _ . The team who would abandon Tony in a heartbeat.

Who needs a shot glass anyways? Tony didn’t. Before he knew it, there was a considerable amount gone. The bottle hit the table with a thud. A spark slowly burning into a flame inside of him. He wanted to hit something. Wanted to scream.

Tony sniffled. Apparently he had been crying. He looked like a wreck. He didn’t know when he had had a proper 10 hours of sleep. Never mind the light snooze he had in Steve’s room the night before. He was just being polite. Nightmares kept him up at night. They always did. Might as well accept it.

Eating wasn’t at the top of his list of things to do. Maybe he had a sandwich earlier. Who knows.

Rhodey was upstairs? Sure. With Steve? Why not? Tony crawled up the stairs to the main living room. He stumbled into the wall, his shoulder hitting the side.

Tony dragged himself up. Fury boiled in his gut, causing more tears to flow from his eyes. His face was stained red. Sweat plastering his hair to his head.

He fell to the floor, his legs tripping over themselves. The noise drew Natasha from around the corner. Her eyes widened in shock as she instantly rushed to help him.

“I need some help here!” she called, tucking her arms under his and pulling him up.

Clint was next, moving to help when he saw Nat helping Tony up from the floor. Tony pushed them away, staggering into the kitchen. A drunken smile pulled at his lips. 

The team was sitting around the counter on stools, chatting away.

“Tony!” Steve and Rhodey said in unison. Steve instantly knew what had happened, not that it was difficult to figure out.

“Woah, hey! Hi guys. Just checking in…” Tony blubbered, pretending to straighten a tie that wasn’t even there. “Lookin’ fly- whoop!” Tony slipped on nothing as he was talking, barely catching himself on a table. He let out a loud, drunken laugh as everyone stared at him in shock.

“Out!” Steve demanded. They looked back and forth from Tony to Steve as if there was a tennis match being played. “I said leave! Go!”

Wanda stood from her chair, moving closer so that she could use her magic to calm him.

Tony flinched away, the rush of memories making him cover his ears.

“Get away from me!” he whimpered, crashing to the floor. He slid his back against a table, drawing his legs to his chest. Tony’s hands were still planted firmly over his ears.

The Avengers, his family, lying dead on a small hill of rocks. Mangled and broken, blood pouring from their open wounds.

“All dead,” Tony croaked. “Why did you have to go?”

“Get them out of here,” Steve told Rhodey, who happily obliged.

“Let me help,” Natasha insisted.

“C’mon Tasha,” Rhodey pleaded.

The group shuffled out of the kitchen and either outside or to the training room. Whispers followed them, gossip. There was an air of anxiety as well, like an itch.

Rhodey stuck right outside the door, though. Standing guard just in case. Maybe he understood that Steve wanted to handle this one alone.

Tony teetered to his feet, supporting himself with the table. His body felt like it was being controlled by someone else. He was numb. Why couldn’t he feel anything?

_ What makes him so much better than me? _ Tony thought angrily, glaring at Steve. A sudden urge to direct his anger to the only person left in the room.

_ Everything, _ he answered.

“Tony,” Steve said.

The way he said it made Tony want to yell. Like he’s so much greater. Not broken. Was he the only one who felt anything? So he yelled. And he said exactly what he felt.

“Get off my case!” Tony yelled. “Don’t act like you’re so much better than me Rogers! J-just ‘cause you can’t get drunk. Can’t get sick. Invincible Captain America, huh! Kiss my ass!”

Steve furrowed his brows, his face cold and collective. His hands were twitching nervously, though, a subtle motion to how he really felt.

“Y’know what?” Tony said. “Fuck it! Why d’you care how much I’ve had to drink? S’not like it matters anyways. Mr. Perfect needs to hold up that perfect leader reputation.”

Tony pulled at his hair, trying to force the images away. Pepper reaching for his hand, only to fall short and into an explosion of fire.

_ You could have saved her.  _ I _ would have caught her. _

_ Take the suit off and what are you? _

Nothing. A failure at most. 

Bile rose in his throat, making him gag. There was a trash can placed in front of him, which he promptly threw up into. 

One thing was on a cycle in his mind. Not a proper thought, but as if it were fact. Like knowing that dogs have fur.

Tony stood and walked over to the block that held the knives. He removed one and placed it to his arm, drawing a small amount of blood as he applied some pressure. His mind was blank, though at the same time screaming. 

Steve rushed to his side, grasping the hand that held the knife firmly, pulling it away.

“It’s okay! Stop,” Tony demanded, trying to wrestle the knife back. “I need… I need to…It's okay, just let me… I just…”

Steve managed to wrangle the knife away, placing it in the sink. Tony sagged to the floor. A lump caught in his throat, and a sob escaped him. Steve sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around Tony.

Tony leaned into the touch, an ache entering his heart. Steve’s touch was so gentle, as if he understood. Tony curled into him, burrowing his face into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sorry…” Tony cried. He clutched Steve’s shirt as they sat there in the empty kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I wrote it all down first, but was running out of room so thought, hey, I'll just do it here. Save some trees.
> 
> This is just a snippet of the first chapter. Thought I'd end before I got too far, ha.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
